Pagans: Controls Weather.
Ancient Jews: Creates a flood and kills all people.
Later Jews: Turns a stick into a snack and lowers the tide.
Christians: Turns water to wine.
Muslims: Provides Virgins.
Evangelicals: Will kill everyone except Evangelicals.
Mormons: Told a guy some stories and buried books under a tree.
Scientologists: Magic alien stuff in the blood.
Heaven’s Gate: Will give you a ride on a comet if you kill yourself.
It appears people have more and more realistic expectations from God over time.