1) He loves welfare.
He received $40 taxpayer dollars, so naturally he is the perfect guy to be in the government because he will know exactly which millionaires to give free money to.
2) He will do what he says about Mexicans.
When demolishing a building to build Trump Tower, he paid illegal immigrants $4 an hour, had them sleep on site and they worked without hard hats. He then decided to not pay them afterwards. So most likely he will have Mexico build the fence and then just not pay them for it. Man of his word!
3) He knows how to reward loyalty.
He is well known for firing capable people and promoting incapable and drunk sycophants. So good news for anyone without talent or skill, you might have a job in the white house.
4) He won’t use a nuclear weapon.
When asked about the Nuclear Triad he should have plead the fifth, meaning he had no idea about our nuclear capabilities or strategies and showed it with his anser. This means we don’t have to worry about him having his finger on the nuclear button, he will probably never find it.
5) Great Pedigree.
You don’t have to worry that Trump is a stuck-up self made man. He made his money by working hard through inheriting it from a long line of cheats. His great-grandfather ran brothels on stolen land from Native-Americans and was kicked out of Germany. The great-grandson has hundreds of lawsuits against him for lack of payment to contractors and consultants and is rated the least honest business man in America.
6) Family Values
Not only did trump have a mistress for nine years, he admires his daughter so much that if she weren’t his daughter, he’d date her. That is one caring father. I can’t imagine a better white house, even Clinton couldn’t limbo under a bar that low.
So if you like the way someone speaks their mind because their mind like yours, is racist, if you like someone not to be trusted with money, if you like someone who cheats on their wife and lusts after his daughter, if you like someone who will go after a minority in order to get the vote of the ignorant? Then Trump is the man for you! With a man like that, how could America not be great? With Trump, America will be great. A great pile of racist, incompetent, dishonest, cheating, misogynistic and incestuous pile of shit.