Sometimes, someone gets under your skin. Sometimes you want to vent. Sometimes you want to say something and you regret it. The one thing one never regrets is being kind. You don’t have to lie, you don’t have to be fake, but you can be kind. You can look at the person you are speaking with and recognize their limitations, their struggles, their faults without throwing them in their face. The goal at the end of 30 days is to have more self control, to loose the ego and to be more kind with others.
I have no plan right now, just to make sure that I respond to people with kindness when they attack me or when I feel like saying something that is not nice.
This is my challenge for the next 30 days. When I want to criticize someone, say something nice. When I want to speak ill, keep quiet. This is very difficult and after two weeks, I can say it is also rewarding. I have seen the true reason for why we “speak directly”. It is not to help the person, it is to stoke our ego, it is to cut them down and raise ourselves up. They see it and they defend themselves and they realize that you are a foe. You just created an enemy. There’s no reason for that. The only time you should speak directly is with a close friend, and even then, look at how, when and what you say, because even with a close friend, sometimes we are showing our ego.
One moth of kind thoughts and responses makes you reflect truly on how you approach others. It made me see that a lot of times, I am the antagonist, because of how I respond, because of how I percieve an interaction and how I choose to respond to it. Sometimes my impact is not even to the person directly, but to others, creating a more negative environment for me and them. Sometimes because I do not find a way to speak to a person, I take it out on someone else creating more issues for myself with yet another person, widening the negative impact on myself and others.
I had one such situation but because of my practice of kindness, I managed to realize what I had done and responded with an apology for which that person was very appreciative. I then was able to get them to myside with much kinder words.
Kindness doesn’t always work. It is not a way to get others to do what you want. Kindness is a way to make you more appreciative of others and not increase the negativity. It is to minimize the damage and increase possible good. Of all the 30-day challenges, I would say this one has been one of the most important. Try it out!
Next 30-Day Challenge- Journaling. Journaling is a habit that can be attributed to many famous and successful people. It is very helpful to check in with yourself about things you do well, do poorly, things you are having troubles with and your feelings. This is something I have wanted to do but have not been able to. So next month, I will try, journaling. Join me!