One of the least talked parts of Hillary is Bill’s affairs. Bill cheated, Bill cheated often and his cheating became public and yet, in spite of the humiliation, she stayed with him. Somehow, we don’t get that, somehow, we fault Hillary for staying with Bill. In spite of the fact, that we all have heard the vows people take during a marriage where both people promise to stay with each-other through good and bad, even though marriage is important, especially on the right, we somehow fault Hillary for staying. We see her as letting Bill get away with it. We feel that somehow, she is a weaker woman and does not show a good role model for other women as a feminist and fighter for women’s rights. I used to think that, but then I changed my mind.
You see, the right of the feminist is not to leave a cheating husband, it is to have a choice. To stay with someone they love, to accept their faults, to work through them and to keep a promise to each-other. Hillary, did not give up on Bill. She fought with him (not always in the best way) and often with him. She sucked it up and she did what she felt was best for the family. I can’t fault her for that. I have seen the devastation of divorce, I don’t think that the consequence of divorce has to damage people. Why?
Because people cheat. Bill is not unique. 50% of men and women have been at some point not faithful to their partner. I can guarantee that 100% of people have thought about it. I’m sure Hillary has but was stronger and did not act on it. Bill was not strong enough. That does not make him an evil human being, especially knowing now that there is a genetic trait that causes people to do so. We were programmed, by god, by nature to stray because sometimes, that helped our species survive.
It is one thing to act on your biological instincts, it is one thing to be dishonest (we all are at some point in time), it is another to give up and to dismantle a family because of your partner’s weakness. Some people, cannot forgive, some people say one time is enough, good bye and I will take everything from you, destroy the family and put our kids through divorce. Some people take what is given to them by a religion or our society as the true way to act and do it no matter the consequences. While others, choose the path of forgiveness, reconciliation and the path of staying together. Is that wrong? Should we fault Hillary for that? I don’t think so.